I miss kendra.
Alot.

I want to see her.
Or here her voice.
or one of her stupid jokes
or laugh at something stupid with her again.


Im just worried im never going to see her again.
But i know i will.
So idk why im worried about it.

fdshafkjdhakls
im lost with out her.

i miss comeing home from places and callin kendra and being like OMG GUESS WHAT HAPPEND.. orrr callin her and being like.. yo wanna go to town or something or just callin her to tell her the supidest thing ever.. but i know she will find funny.. cause i did..
Towns not the same with out her.
My street isnt the same without her.
My effing life isnt the same.
Damn it
I miss my best friend.
You dont even no.





=(
blah im going to bed or something.
idk.


imisskendrasofuckingmuch

The other night me and robin were sitting at mcdonalds and these to guys went by and they were sharring a beer.
And me and robin were laughing at them.
Then they came bk and was talking to us.
And it was kinda weird.
But then jimmy M came over to talk to us too,

But yea.. that one guy was hitting on robin hardcore.
But he invited me jimmy and robin to go to there apartment and drink with them;;
And we sayed we would be up later;;
So we took lindsey home.. then me robin and jimmy walked up there..
And we could here there music from all the way down the street.
So we already new the cops were gunna be called.
So like we got a lil closer and those too guys were walkin around the corner and the one guy threw a beer and then they were talking about blood and shooting someone so i started freaking and was like.. guys lets just not go over there and theere like no its alright.. so we went and talked to them and then we all went inside and this one guy have rly rly rly rly rly deep cuts in his arm and he was freakin out.. and i rly hate seeing ppl cut like that so i like went out of the house and just walked outside. then i went bk inside and the one guy that cut his wrist was trying to fight wit jimmy.. hes like you cant take this... wanna go.. and jimmys like no man no..
Thennn we all went outside again.. and i guess the one dude that cut his wrist got his kid taken away;; thats why he was all upset;; then the guy that was upset threw a beer bottle and i was RIGHT behind him when he did it and i got beer and glass like all over me.. so i started freakin out;; i was like alright guys lets just go and then the other guy that was with the guy that slit his wrist came up to jimmy and was like DONT YOU EVER THREW BEER AROUND AT MI HOUSE AGAIN!! and jimmy didnt even do it.. so i was like wtf.. so that dude was trying to fight jimmy and jimmys like no dude i didnt throw that.. then the guy that threw it was lke i fuckin threw it.. so it was all good.. but i was like alright lets go guys lets go.. so we started walkin away and the guy that slit his wrist fallowed us and was like no you not leaving your gunna nark me out.. and like he wouldnt let us leave for like 30mins... and here i was just freaking out like hardcore.. haha..
But yea they let us leave finnaly.. and like good thing we left then cause right after we left the cops showed up..


But yea that was so fucked up.
And good thing jimmy new these ppl..
Or i would have never went up there.
Haha.


Dont think i have ever freaked out that bad before.
Hehe.


Ne ways.
Yea.

Sooo.. I havnt been blogging alot lately.

Hmmm;
Last night was fun.
I stayed up all night with;;
zach, eli, karlie, lauren, calab, and christina.

God it was fucked up.
Karlie and christina would not stop fighting. It was rather gay.
I rly dont like christina ne ways.. So w/e

Hmm;;
We were all sitting in a shed and fucking zach god nacked and hes like everyone else get naked and no one would so he was sitting right beside me NAKED!!
haha.
Then he was like alright someone give me head so i can get laid.
And hes like ok first im fuckin karlie then christina then rhonda
and i was like umm how bout not.
i wouldnt touch that after its been in christina and karlie.
And then karlie started givein him head.. and he couldnt get hard;; so then christina gave him head;; and he still didnt get hard..
God.. ppl are so dumb..
But he ended up fucking karlie.
*barfs*
And wat REALLY pissed me off is that he was getting head from those 2 and fucking karlie with his girlfriend with us the whole night.
She says she dont care.. but i can tell she does.
Like he cheated on her with 3 different girls before that night..
and lauren was like what ever zach its over
and hes like no i still love you and want to be with you.. but lets just have an open relationship..
so i guess there haveing an "open relationship" witch REALLY dont make ne since to me..?
But still.. even if you do have an "open relationship" you still shouldnt have sex and get head for some other girls with your GIRLFRIEND right there.
That rly pissed me off i wanted to punch him in the head.


Ne ways.
I stayed up till 6:30 this mornin on zachs porch then mi cousin gave me and lauren a ride here.. then laurens dad cal at like 9.. so i went bk to sleep at 9.
=]

I'm still a lil tired.

I played cards for a rly long time last night.
From like 12:00am till lyke 4:00am
=]

Jimmy snorted a mouth.
It was rather funny.

I enjoy getting molested by feet.
Hahah.
Not rly.

Last night was fun.
I was in the laughing mood.
So i laughed alot.
I went to sleep at like 4:30am
Then got up at lyke 11:00am.
Im pretty much tired.




Watered down beer is gross.


"Did your dog shit?"
Oh hahaha.
Funny stuff.
I dont even no why that was so funny.

And how about;;
Dustin;; erics brother;;
Keeps calling me;;
Trying to get ahold of me;;
He called me at robins but i wasnt there;;
And last night he called me but i was in olean;;



Hmmmm;;
Wonder wat its bout?!?!
Its kinda weird.
Cause every ((very few)) guys ive fucked has just fucked me and not talked to me since.
soOoOo :|
iunno

Its hard//confussing when--


You have some ppl saying;;
"Eric wouldnt ever cheat;; hes not lyke that:"

And when theres other ppl saying;;
"hes a player;; he used you"






I cant wait till tonight.
So i can talk to eric.
If he is there.
I need to get shit straighted out.
I feel so bad;; but so right at the same time.


Cause if he did cheat on me;;
Imma be like.. oh well.. i fucked your brother;;
But i feel so wrong cause;;
i hate cheaters;; and being cheated on;;
and it was his brother;;


Hmm..
I cant wait till this is over.

So pretty much im hateing life.

I got drunk the other night and someone told me
"eric went to welsvill tonight to hook up with his ex"
so i was lyke omfg and flippin out and shit..
and this kid named ed that was there was just lyke.. just find a way to get bk at him
((mind you drunk ppl dont think oh so well))
and i was lyke good idea..
So i went a cheeted on him with his brother.
Im so fucking pissed.
I hate myself.
And i dont even no if wat that kid told me was true about eric.. cause he lyes alot.
So im hateing myself right now.
And i think i should just break up with eric ne ways.
Idk.
Someone help me.
Cause i rly do lyke eric.
But i cheated on him.
And i hate myself for it.


But then again he told mi cousin that he wasnt dateing me and that he has been single for 2 weeks.
So either he lied to me about--
1. No being lyke his brother ((his bro is the biggest playa around))
2. Not useing me.
3. Not breaking mi heart.
4. Rly lykeing me.


Or im being lied to.
And if that whole thing about eric going to welsvill to hook up with his ex is true;; then im just gunna be lyke.. w/e i slept wit your brother the night you went to welsvill..

but i dont fucking no wat to do right now.
cause i have no idea if he rly did cheat on me or not.
he said he wouldnt.. and i believe(d) him.
so if he didnt.. and i did that for nothing..
im going to kill myself ((not rly))
i hate being cheated on
i hate cheeters
and i cheeted
im fucked
grr
someone help me :|
i need advise

I sleept with a bat the last 4 nights or so;;
Yessh i said a bat.
Thats just fucked;;
and im grossed out;;
:|;;
The other night me and robin kept hereing something squeek and we didnt know wat it was so we just went to bed;; and it happend the next night too;;
i went home today;;
gotta call from robin;;
she said;;-
"dustin found a bad in mi room today"
And i was lyke;;-
"Thats pry what we hurd sqeeking;;
Im never sleeping in her room again.
:|




<3

=]
im happy.
ive gotta b/f
that isnt useing me



Fun.. i love et


<3